The Starlost Episode Five: Children of Metheuselah

Devon finds what he thinks might be the auxilliary bridge, but it turns out to be staffed entirely by preternaturally intelligent, adult-acting children who can stun you with their brains. Straight away Rachel develops a simper and her voice rises an octave, because Women Like Children, and the children all gravitate to her, because Children Like Women. Ulgh.

The leader of the children is a teenager who rubbishes the hero trio’s story because the accident hasn’t shown on their screens and the computer gives them no evidence of it, but he’s scared enough to stage a show trial and attempt to get them executed (well, Garth and Devon, anyway, because Rachel Is A Woman and Children Like Women). Of course (SPOILERS) it turns out this is a training facility, and the reason why there’s no evidence of the accident is that they’re just running simulated drills. Once the hero trio demonstrates this to the kids, the old order collapses.

How many things are wrong with this story? Let’s count them…

This is an episode with a lot more wrong with it than just planklike acting from the entire cast and the whole Rachel as Mum thing. The children have apparently been given some kind of anti-aging treatment that has held them at their current ages for over 500 years: so if Earth technology could do that, why bother with a generation ship? The children’s ability to stun people with their brains is presented early on with a fanfare, but by the end of the episode they’ve forgotten about it. While it makes sense to have children training up to be bridge crew, shouldn’t there be some external monitoring, and why are they isolated from the rest of the ship? Etc.

There’s a very good scene where Rachel, upset by the children’s apparent inability to play, tries to teach them Blind Man’s Bluff, but is shocked to tears when the kids really don’t get the point of the game, or indeed play in general, and would much rather put on a VR helmet. It’s one point in the story where the kids really do seem genuinely eerie and alien, like they should. However, two scenes later and they’ve all spontaneously started playing and enjoying Blind Man’s Bluff, with no indication of why they changed their minds. That rather sums this episode up really.

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Fiona Moore

Academic, anthropologist and SF writer, living, teaching and working in a global city.

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